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The Impossible Dream

2 June, 2010

Uninteresting confession: I really, really love bookends. They accessorize one of my most favorites things: books! And there are just so many possibilities! For instance, these ridonkulously nerdy Limited Edition Star Wars Bookends: WANT. Super cute and tasteful Jonathan Adler Flower Lavendar Bookends: WANT. $1.99 IKEA bookmarks that I could probably make out of paperclips stolen from my desk job: WANT. Restoration Hardware OMG THEY WOULD TOTALLY MAKE MY APARTMENT LOOK LIKE HOGWARTS CRYSTAL BALL BOOKENDS: WANT!!!1!11!!

Here’s the thing, though. Bookends are designed with the idea that you have two things: book(s), and at least one place at which your books end before the shelf does. In my life, this is not the case. Exhibit A:

“Elizabeth,” you’re saying to yourself, “this doesn’t really look that bad.” And it doesn’t, actually. This is about the best this bookcase has looked since I bought it. Here’s the thing, though:

1. This is the “staged” version. I pulled off dozens of books and put them in a box because I’m moving in a month and am trying to contain the chaos.
2. What looks like a neat row of books on some of the shelves is actually at least two neat rows of books; they’re all double-stacked so you have to take the front ones off in order to get to the ones at the back.
3. I don’t even keep all of my books in my apartment. Some are at Lynn’s, a few are at my office, some are at my man’s (I need really need a good blog nickname for him), a lot are at my mom’s house.

When I move to my new place, I plan to buy a new bookcase. Even assuming that I manage to redistribute two overflowing bookcases worth of books into three non-overflowing bookcases with room to spare, I know it won’t last long. I JUST CAN’T STOP BUYING THEM. AND I DON’T WANT TO. AND YOU CAN’T MAKE ME, BECAUSE THIS IS THE INTERNET AND ALMOST NO ONE READS THIS BLOG ANYWAY. HA.

So unless they come out with some kind of bookend fostering program where I can keep them in my apartment for the brief period of time in which they are actually needed and then pass them on to someone else who has just purchased a new bookcase, I really just can’t justify purchasing any. God knows I wouldn’t be able to stop at just one pair, and then I’d end up with a bookcase full of nothing but bookends…

(Bonus hidden object game: Can you find two John Sheppard action figures, Harry Potter books in three different languages, the sleeve of homemade Snuggie, and a bookend serving little to no purpose?)

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